Your circumstances do not determine how blessed you are

This is a widely debated topic among the different Christian denominations. If one person’s external circumstances are better than another person’s, does that mean they have more of God’s favor? What about the boy sitting in the slums in India with no job, riches or earthly treasures? Before I start writing on this topic, I want you to know I’m 100% convinced of the following:

• God is a good God with no darkness or malice in Him
• He cares for us more than the best earthly father does
• He does not send sickness or suffering our way to teach us something
• He gave us everything by giving up His Son

The problem with the blessing-mentality is that it causes you to base the measure of God’s love for you on how well things are going in your life, how much money you make or how many of your prayers have been answered. I have experienced many crises of faith because of this doctrine. My relationship with God suffered greatly because of the confusion, anger and disappointment that followed after I experienced two miscarriages. In my mind this meant God had deserted me, and that I had lost His favor. It did not make sense after hearing messages about how no harm will ever come to me, or how I cannot be touched by any suffering as a Christian.

We are blessed because of what Jesus did for us on the cross. He purchased our freedom and eternal life by giving up His life. Our greatest gift is complete righteousness before God if we believe. We can enjoy unhindered fellowship with God, the Creator of everything, because we are not condemned any more. We can freely approach God with no shame about who we were, what we did or still do. This is true favor, and this is the definition of truly being blessed.

If things are going rough in your life take heart:

• God has not deserted you.
• You don’t experience less of His favor than the person next to you
• You are not less beloved than your outwardly blessed brother or sister.
• God has not forgotten about you – He already blessed you fully through the work of Christ
• You don’t have to feel inferior to other church members because some of your prayers are unanswered
• If you believe in Jesus you have the same measure of blessing, favor and acceptance as other Christians in seemingly better circumstances than you are in

Be kind, for every person you encounter is facing a battle you know nothing about.

Love who you are right now

For most of my life I have been striving. Striving to be at the perfect weight. Striving to look more beautiful. Striving to be cooler, to be a better parent, become more successful, know more and do more. All this striving has meant that I have missed a great deal of who I was at any given moment, and subsequently a great deal of my life.

Now that I am a little older I am starting to realize that the greatest disservice you can do yourself is to NOT love who you are right now. The insecurities that arises from the perceived lack of *insert your own word here* cuts you off at the knees and stops you from enjoying your life. I have made a conscious decision to stop striving for an improved version of me, and to start embracing and loving the me that I am right now.

This has transformed many areas of my life. Through years of dieting (and hating the body that I had), I developed a disfunctional relationship with food which lead to binge eating and food addiction. Through loving the body that I have right now I started noticing that I actually want to treat myself better and not try to change it from an external perspective. It is a difficult place to reach, especially if you have been thoroughly indoctrinated like me.

So try this with me: believe you are perfect, beautiful and successful just as you are and stop criticising yourself. Believe you are the best version of yourself right now. See what you can achieve without the crippling effect of self doubt and negativity.

Experiencing life through words

My mom says I started writing at the age of 5. For as long as I can remember, I have always had a tremendous love of words, both in reading and writing. Throughout my life writing has been a cathartic experience for me. For those unfamiliar with this word, it means to purge or relieve emotional tensions, especially through certain kinds of art (in this case, writing).

I have written through my stormy emotional teenage years where I questioned the world and believed no one understood me (I still feel this way many days). I have written through my early days as a religious law-filled Christian and the freedom that came when I eventually stumbled across the true love and grace of God. I have written through ups and downs in my relationship with God and the many questions that arose after hearing conflicting doctrines preached in different churches. I have written about struggles in life, like relationships, pregnancy and parenting.

Without fail, writing has cleared my mind and helped me make sense of confusing and difficult situations. It has grounded me and given me hope. It has served as the tool for many breakthroughs in my life in areas I have been stuck in, and been available to me whenever I needed it.

With every inch of my being I can recommend writing and journaling to any person in any situation in their life. Whether you are struggling through emotional issues or just want to document your life, it will be the most enriching, empowering and liberating activity you do.

Hospital for the healthy

Imagine getting into an accident and rushing off to the nearest hospital. When you arrive there, you report to the emergency room only to hear that you are hurt too badly, and that they cannot help you until you are in a better condition. This is an absurd thought, yet this is how the doctrine of most Christian churches sound.

Most churches I have gone to in my life have placed a very high emphasis on living a holy life. You were judged the moment you went off track or shunned if you were different than the rest of the congregation. There was no grace, no room for error, and no welcoming of spiritually unhealthy sinners. This mentality is so inaccurate. Jesus did not live or preach this doctrine.

“But when Jesus heard it, He replied, Those who are strong and well (healthy) have no need of a physician, but those who are weak and sick. Go and learn what this means: I desire mercy [that is readiness to help those in trouble] and not sacrifice and sacrificial victims. For I came not to call and invite [to repentance] the righteous (those who are upright and in right standing with God), but sinners (the erring ones and all those not free from sin).” Matthew 9:12-13

Jesus was the absolute embodiment of the word non-judgemental. He liked to spend time with the shunned and unholy in the eyes of the Pharisees.

I want to see a church where sinners actually feel welcome. Where they are not looked at differently or isolated because of the lives they live. I want to see a church where the ‘extreme’ sinners are embraced with the love and acceptance of God. I want to BE that church, but I struggle. Whether it is because of years of indoctrination or my own self-righteousness I don’t know…but it is misguided and not based on truth.

Christian Addition

1 + 1 = 2

In religion (Christianity in my case), doctrine plus doctrine (plus doctrine plus doctrine…) equals confusion, insecurity and hesitance before God.

Throughout my life I have loved clarity, decluttering and minimalism. This has spilled over into my Christian life, causing me to appreciate and desire the simplicity of the gospel. And this is the true gospel. When asked what we should do in order to please God, Jesus replied using two words: Only believe (John 6:29). That does not sound like complicated religious mathematics to me! It frees me to focus on a living relationship with Jesus, which is what truly satisfies my soul. I only believe in Him.

Paul shared this desire for a simpler message in church:

For I resolved to know nothing (to be acquaintedj with nothing, to make a display of the knowledge of nothing, and to be conscious of nothing) among you except Jesus Christ (the Messiah) and Him crucified. 1 Cor 2:2

How very refreshing, this uncomplicated truth!

Albert Says…

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. – Albert Einstein